rumblings of a bored soul...

what the heck im doin? writing blogs when i should be studying the weiner processes and a recovery rate model. sounds like some esoteric disease and its treatment. i feel like such a nerd...studying finance - something i have as much aptitude for as paris hilton has for rocket science. still i come to office everyday...study the documents dilligently..and eventually may even manage to churn out a decent report. but doesnt it suck? doing something you dont want to...and having to pretend how you love it more than your first orgasmic experience. but who am i complaining to? is that not what i have always done? trying to fix blame on someone else whenever i have f****d up my own life? now why do i have to blank out the four letters from that word? dats what one does to avoid censorship from the venerable moderators who often use smart little software tools to scan for 'bad' words but whose smartness is defied by the armour of asteriks. doesn't really make sense. does it? what purpose does it solve? as if people wouldnt know what word is that. if they wouldnt why the f**k should i mention the word at all? but it is a practice, a custom. customs are like that. you follow them even if they dont make sense. in fact thats why they are made...to save you the effort of makin sense of a whole lot of things so that perhaps you can put your sense to some more lofted cause. im staring at the screen so intently my guide thinks im deep in work. all im thinking about is which movie to watch after returning back from here...i have exhausted all the 60 movies i had brought along on my hard disk. wondering what new place to explore in bombay. last evening was great. the sound of jazz is still ringing in my ears. soul fry casa is heaven on earth. this city never ceases to amaze. the hairscape of the department head is intriguing too. there is this broad superhighway running along his scalp. but a few strands have been spared right in front. like a lone tree in the midst of the saharan desert. freak of nature. there is this another person in the department whose biggest frustration is probably that he is tucked away in a corner cubicle while even his junior collegues are smarting inside cosy cabins. he lets that out by shouting his way to glory all day long. if all people in the department start following his lead, auditors may just have to sit in the lobby and monitor the entire proceedings through the day. such queer characters. not that im any less queer. looking absorbed in work...but writing meaningless stuff hardly anyone would care to read. but its fun. meaningless stuff are like that. fun..more often than not. like dancing the night through at a disc. the other night i was at this hip and happening place - voted the best nightclub in bombay (as we were constantly reminded by dj akeel); the place is called poison. what a name! good heavens. for a moment i thought akeel was actually a snake lurking in the dark corridors which would spring on you if you happen to gawk at a girl a little too often. had to be a cool place though. packed like the local train on monday morning. even as the protruding parts of your body are under permanent encroachment, you are head over heels to get to the bar counter to order a drink that is likely to cost you a grand. being hep is like that. either put up with it and conquer the style frontiers or be perpetually labled a fashion-retard. its another matter that the diffence between the two is the same as that between a kingfisher and a peroni. all beers taste practically the same. dont they? the label decides the price. and the price decides the class. the class of course decides the customer. the purpose is to differentiate - the rich from the middle class, the fashionable from the nerds...This need to differentiate is key to human nature. almost intrinsic. we work harder to earn a better salary to be able to dine at a better restaurant, own a better car, sport a better address and wear smarter clothes which would impress a better girl and eventually lead to a life that appears more gilted than most others. all to invite better reviews from the faceless millions around us we call the society. so much for individualism. im of course not sayin that discs are bad. hell no....its close to 4.30 and i have been at my desk for some 3 hours now. i ll cut the ordeal short for you if at all you have managed to read though the post...time to catch a fag (dont raise ur eyebrows...i just mean a cig)...adios